These are my confessions: This Is Us has wrecked me. I hopped on the feel trip train later than most, but its effects on my entire spirit has not gone unnoticed. I kid you not, I was crying 11 minutes in while watching the series premiere, and I have Mr. Emmy winning Sterling K. Brown to thank for that — but more on him later.

18 episodes of emotion lured me into the world of the Pearsons and I didn’t ever want to escape. I genuinely cared what happened to each of “The Big Three” in a myriad of ways. I fell for Kate’s body image vulnerability, Kevin’s earnest innocence and Randall’s perfectionist sensitivity. I was enraptured by Jack and Rebecca’s love story and immersed in William’s wisdom. They had me.

Last night marked the sophomore season premiere of This Is Us and my body was ready to dive into my Kleenex package, unapologetically. The premiere dove into Randall’s inner-warring with adoption options, unpacking the seemingly perfect structure of Jack, dissecting Kate and Kevin’s co-dependency even deeper and more.

Most notably — and what we’ve all been awaiting — was the much-anticipated nugget dropped before us regarding Jack’s mysterious death. The ultimate shot of the episode was the scorched aftermath of the beloved Pearson’s home and the piercing sound of Rebecca’s sobs as she realized what happened. It was to be assumed that Jack died in a fire. But, how? Did he cause it? Was it an accident? So many questions…

Questions, of which, will be answered according to show creator Dan Fogelman. After the premiere, a Q&A was held with the actors behind the characters we have grown to love and identify with: Milo Ventimiglia, Mandy Moore, Sterling K. Brown, Chrissy Metz, Justin Hartley, Susan Kelechi Watson and Chris Sullivan. 

Fogelman touched on the difficulty of keeping the “house fire” shot a secret, down to the point where Mandy didn’t see the house until she was about to shoot her first take — of which ended up in the final cut. In a supremely endearing moment, the cast each talked about which character (other than themselves) they identified the most with, which turned into a love and respect fest that truly highlighted the undeniable chemistry they have with each other onscreen.

Following the Q&A (here is where I get back to Sterling), I went to shake Mr. Brown’s hand and as soon as the words, “Shadow & Act” escaped my lips, he pulled me in for a hug. I told him how proud of him I was an extended my congratulations for his recent accomplishments. He was a wonderful ball of energy and joy that lingered on my spirit like a good cologne. It was magic. He is magic.

This Is Us is certainly off to an intriguing start for its second season and I can’t wait to be sucked back in.