The episode immediately begins with emotional discoveries as McCurdy, 30, dives into her life, childhood trauma and her mother being diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.  She shares numerous occurrences of abuse she was unaware of as a child.  One of which was having to sleep on trifold mats in the living room with her siblings due to her mother becoming a hoarder, to the point where the beds were no longer visible.

“Because she was so close to seeing her fate, she suddenly attached meaning and significance to the tiny” McCurdy shared.  “It really did not feel like a home. It felt like a place of turmoil and turbulence.”

She continued to talk about her battle with anorexia, which her mother introduced her to and even shared stories about how she ate plain lettuce for dinner, sent photos of her half-eaten meals to her mom, counted every single calorie and even instances of her mother lying to the doctor about her eating disorder.  All of this happened behind the scenes while she played the character role of “Sam,” on one of Nickelodeon’s most popular shows, iCarly.

McCurdy’s character was a little girl obsessed with food, but little did we know that she struggled with bulimia and anorexia in real life.

She also discussed her obligations to being bathed by her mother and her then 15-year-old brother while she was 11 years old.

“‘Nett Shower Time!’ Mom shouts from another room. “My whole body freezes. Oh, No, not shower time,” McCurdy read from an excerpt from her book. “Mom showers me with Scotty sometimes. He’s almost 16 at this point. I get really embarrassed when she showers us together.”

During the conversation, McCurdy discusses a painful email from her mother after she got ahold of some paparazzi photos taken of her and her then-boyfriend in 2012 as they visited Hawaii.

McCurdy was 20 years old back then, and she tells the ladies that there was a “significant age difference.”

“There were some paparazzi pictures that somebody had taken of us, and then my mom found those paparazzi pictures,” McCurdy said during the interview.

“The relationship had been a secret from her. I understand why she was disapproving. There was a significant age difference, but I don’t respect how she handled it.”

McCurdy read a “scathing” email that her late mother, Debra, sent her in response to the circulating paparazzi photos.

“‘Dear (Jennette), I am so disappointed in you. You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little — all caps — ‘slut, a floozy, all used up,'” McCurdy read. “‘And to think you wasted it on that hideous ogre of a man. I saw the pictures on a website called TMZ. I saw you rubbing his disgusting hairy stomach. I knew you were lying about Colton.’ [I had told her I was with a friend, Colton]. Add that to a list of things you are: liar, conniving, evil. You look pudgier too. It’s clear you are eating your guilt.”

“‘Thinking of you with his ding-dong inside of you makes me sick. Sick! I raised you better than this. What happened to my good little girl? Where did she go and who is this monster that has replaced her? You’re an ugly monster now. I told your brothers about you and they all said they disown you just like I do. We want nothing to do with you,'” McCurdy’s continued reading the disrespectful email.

‘”Love, Mom — or should I say Deb since I am no longer your mother? PS Send money for a new fridge; ours broke,'” McCurdy noted her mother concluded the awful email.

 

McCurdy’s story was hurtful to learn. Watch the Red Table Talk interview above, and let us know your thoughts.