“She’s sitting around, running around talking about my husband, the father of my children, and she spends her weekends peddling through sperm banks, looking through catalogs trying to find a donor. Honey, you don’t know if your baby daddy will be an ax murderer or a child molester because what you will know is that he needed $10 for a medium-size pizza, so he ejaculated in a cup so you could have a kid. Now, check that.”