Well, that can be difficult to figure out. I will say, you always have to start with your partner. So let’s say there is a bride, and she feels like the groom is too hooked into the relationship with the mom – just to take the classic example. Now, is she jealous, or is she rightly wanting more partnership from her man?

I think the first thing you have to determine, and this is sort of a rule of thumb in a relationship, is if your partner has a problem, it’s a problem. You can never look at your partner coming to you and saying, ‘I have a problem with X, Y, or Z. How much you work, how much you drink, how much you talk to your mom.’ You can never look at that and go and dismiss it. So, I don’t care, or that’s your problem. Never. So the starting point has to be if your partner has a problem, there actually is a problem, and you have to start there, whether it’s jealousy or legitimate. So once you turn to your partner and go, ‘Tell me about it, I’m here.’ That’s when you get to it’ll become clear pretty quick.

Now, I will also say if it’s people in the family, a lot of times, people in the family do not like that the couple is putting each other first. They don’t like that because they’re used to being number one. Or there’s a saying when you stop pleasing people, people stop being pleased. So there are times when family members do not like people’s commitment to their primary relationship that I look at and go, ‘Well, you’re going to have to get used to it. You’re going to have to find a new way to relate to your family member.’

family or fiance